All Hat and No Cattle (09/18/2015)

Greetings and salutations-wations! Konana here from the Tarutaru Times.

Summer has truly galloped by in a cloud of dust-aru. I hope this missive finds you all in perfect health-wealth!

Also, good news, everyone! Your ever-diligent Konana may be up for promotion soon.

That's rightaru! If my next story-wory goes well, you may soon be reading the excellent words of none other than Konana, Resident Assistant Regional Managing Editor-in-Chief of the Tarutaru Times!
"Resident...Managing...Chief..." I love the sound of that.

With that in mind, you can rest assured that I've had all the underlings work extra hard on this story-wory.

Believe me folks, you can't miss this special scoop-woop. We have received a cutting-edge Tarutaru Times-exclusive rumor that the beloved Buffalo Bonanza Ranch may be facing bankruptcy!

That's rightaru, you heard it here first, folks! As the ranch gears up for another busy Blazing Buffaloes season, financial trouble-wouble appears to be brewing on the horizon.

But rest assured. Thanks to my in-depth investigation, we feel confident to reportaru that this year's Blazing Buffaloes will be held at the B.B. Ranch as planned.

Break out your long lassos and silver spurs, this year's festival-westival is right around the corner!

Moglina is a leather craftsmoogle here at Blazing Buffalo Ranch, skilled in working with everything from sheep to rabbit hides. The following is a true account from her workshop at Blazing Buffalo Ranch.

"What do you make of this boiled buckskin belt, kupo?"
"Oh, what a splendid beltaru, Master! Truly a masterwork."

Levivi, a young Tarutaru girl, serves as Moglina's apprentice. With her eccentric reputation, Moglina was never able to attract a moogle disciple. Only the former adventurer Levivi, who first stumbled upon the ranch by accident, showed any admiration for her work. She has been working as Moglina's apprentice ever since.

"Master, this stitching-witching, this embossed finish, how truly sublime! It's a simple, rustic design, but these elegantly flowing lines-wines gracefully evoke streaming clouds. I doubt anyone else at the ranch could match this leatherwork's quality!"
"You...really reason so, kupo?"
"Absolutely! The leather designs you see on the marketaru these days are all over the place! Compared to this, everyone's designs are overblown, gaudy-waudy, extravagant, no depth, no character at all! No, that's not quite rightaru. It's not that they have no character, it's like...eating a salted roast pipira without the saltaru...or the pipira!"
"I'm not sure if you're lauding my leatherwork or have just lost your lunch again, kupo."
"Of course, I meant it as praise-waise! Not only that, but I'm certain that few leather workers could match your skills as an artist. Just look at this carving of an orc on the buckle-wuckle. It's so life-like! Very scary!"
"That was meant to be a moogle...kupo..."
"Oh? Well, it certainly is an avant-garde depiction!"
"Despite your describing my design as 'rustic' just now?"
"Ah...forgive me! No! Please don't fire-wire me!"

The sobbing Levivi rolled up into a fetal position as Moglina scratched her chin.

"Meh, I thought as much. Nobody will buy such boring baubles, kupo."

Moglina then began spinning around in place, as moogles often do when lost in thought. Without another word from her apprentice, she realized that her designs were too plain, and that anything "cute" would best be avoided all together.

"Master, why not stick to more realistic designs? Like that buffalo cap-wap you've been working on?"
"Hmmm..."
"Of course it's just made out of plain old buffalo-wuffalo hide. I suppose it wouldn't stand out very much..."
Moglina just shut her eyes and continued to spin.

In an effort to match the ranch's success selling buffalo meat and milk, the artisans at Blazing Buffalo Ranch had devoted themselves to coming up with its next hit product. With the constantly changing tastes of customers and the ever-growing demand for novelty as their focus, the ranch spared no expense in developing its new line of products.

"Master, there's no use in trying to compete with all those new novelty-wovelty items. We don't stand a chance."
"None of that noisome negativity! I just need...a bit more time, kupo."
"Believe me, Master, I've got some solid-wolid intel from the other workshops."
Moglina sighed. "Solid intel?"
It was Levivi's job to keep track of the other artisans' work for her own training, but like many adventurers from Windurst, she had an irascible penchant for cloak and dagger.

"To go with the coming Blazing Buffaloes festival, they're launching a new line of buffalo-related hygiene productarus, like toothpaste."
"So the culinary workshop's conspiring again, but what's so tantalizingly top-drawer about toothpaste, kupo?"
"They're saying it's going to be the next smash hitaru! I thought so too, after their presentation-wation."
"Uh huh..."
"Get this! The toothpaste is beef-flavored! Everybody loves beef, right? This toothpaste will leave your mouth-wouth tasting of delicious barbecue flavor for hours after using it!"
"What does it do to your breath, kupo? No, there have to be some logical, level-headed limits to such loony novelty."
"They've also got hot mustard flavor-wavor..."
"Ugh... What in thundering tarnation were they thinking, kupo?"

If nothing else, the ranch's artisans could not be accused of unoriginality.

"Hmmm... I think I know how to tackle this tricky task, kupo."
"Huh? Oh, yes! You could enhance your buffalo cap-wap with...lights! Spinny things! ...Propellers?"
"I don't think so, kupo."
"Why? Ours will be the most boring display at the festival! How will we stand outaru!?"
Moglina shrugged at her pouting disciple.
"Well, you may be right in one respect, Levivi. I think this ratty old rawhide cap could use a little refreshing."

Moglina's works may have been plain, but they were also sane. Fully conscious of the importance of catering to conventional familiarity, she set to work on perfecting her buffalo cap.

Moglina was right to be cautious. The radical uniqueness of B.B. Ranch's fall product lineup backfired as sales are now falling flat. Recent reports claim that the unsold, over-produced novelty goods are now piling up to the rafters as the ranch's finances have rapidly dipped into the red.

Nevertheless, despite the steady stream of product returns, one item seems to have survived a slow start and is presently enjoying steadily increasing sales.

This surprise success comes from none other than Moglina's workshop.

Not a smash hit, but a reliable breadwinner, Moglina's buffalo cap has proven to be tough, long-lasting, and easy on the eyes. It even comes with a few minor improvements to top it off.

As Blazing Buffalo Ranch manages to pull itself through the difficult season, it may owe its survival to this wholly unremarkable, yet ever-dependable piece of headwear.


Story : Miyabi Hasegawa
Illustration : Mitsuhiro Arita

Event Period

From Thursday, September 24, 2015 at 8:00 a.m. (PDT) to Friday, October 9 at 7:00 a.m. (PDT)

Event Details

During the event, herds of wild buffalo will be released into the areas listed below. Observe their patterns of behavior and skillfully lead them to the moogles stationed in the vicinity, where rich rewards await you! For detailed instructions, simply speak to the moogles at the following locations:

West Ronfaure (I-6) / East Ronfaure (G-6)


North Gustaberg (L-8) / South Gustaberg (L-8)


West Sarutabaruta (J-8) / East Sarutabaruta (G-11)


Receiving Rewards

A moogle will reward you with a bovine brand card for every buffalo you wrangle in. Collect enough bovine brand cards to exchange them for a Buffalo Cap.


Of course, you can also exchange your bovine brand cards for any of the following items:
Miracle Milk / Drover's Mantle / Red Sash /
Drover's Belt / Dash Sash / Aldebaran Horn

Restrictions

- While participating in Blazing Buffaloes, adventurers will be unable to attack or be attacked by monsters.
- This restriction will wear off upon logging out or changing areas.