World Egg-sclusive: Rated "M" for Moogle (04/05/2011)

Warmer days painting nature a vibrant palette of colors...
The heady scent of new blossoms riding the breeze...
The unmistakable waft of hard-boiled eggs...

Springtime is come once more to Vana'diel, and any adventurer not hatched yesterday knows what this spells: another edition of the Egg Hunt Egg-stravaganza! That's right, folks, it's time again for that most egg-citing of egg-themed traditions, where egg-sperienced warriors and hatchlings alike swap their steel for baskets of eggs. By the time the festivities are through, you will have seen enough eggs and had your ears bent with enough egg puns to fill the Tahrongi Canyon thrice over.

But whence came such copious quantities of eggs? This question surely stirs the interest of inquiring minds on occasion. While dark rumors abound of forbidden magicks and unsavory dealings, thus far the truth has eluded the imaginations of even the most imaginative. History shall be made today, however, as Magic Paradise Weekly is permitted backstage entry to the MHMU's heretofore unrevealed egg-making operation for a world egg-sclusive report.

This is Konana of Magic Paradise Weekly, reporting from the moogles' top-secret initial egg factory. For the first time in Vana'diel history, we will be cracking open the proverbial shell of this shrouded egg-making operation and peering into the protein-rich, gooey mass within.

The MHMU teleported me to this classified location just moments ago, blindfolded and gagged at their insistence. When my eyes finally adjusted to the light, they were met with a breathtaking scene of chaos: an army of sweaty moogles, too numerous to count, toiling away in a cavernous chamber. With me now is the foremoogle, who has kindly volunteered to guide us through the production line. Let's hear what he has to say.

"Hey, nice notepad you've got there, kupo!"

"Uhm...thank you. It serves for jotting down notes."

"Great! Now then, you see those fellows frantically running about? That's our procurement team, kupo."

"Intriguing. But seeing as they're a-wing, perhaps 'flapping' or 'fluttering' would be more apt? And unlike 'running,' either of those would alliterate."

"Spare me the linguistic lesson, lady. You want to know about our work or not, kupo?"

"Forgive me for speaking out of turn. I would be most obliged to learn of your vital operation, starting with from where the eggs are sourced."

"Oho! You sure don't beat around the bush, lady!"

"Yes, Magic Paradise Weekly prides itself on factual journalism."

"Good to hear, good to hear! As for the eggs, that's for us to know, and for you to find out! Kupo-ho-ho!"

Uhm...that wasn't awfully helpful. But moving on, besides procurement, I'm led to understand there are also teams overseeing paint manufacturing, initial inscribing, and egg distribution and placement. Workers tasked with inscribing letters onto each and every egg seem to have the hardest lot, but that's not to say the others have it easy. All moogles work extremely long shifts lasting an entire day or night.

"Hmm? Who are you talking to over there, kupo? Try to keep up, or you'll end up lost like a little lamb!"

"A-apologies. I'm right behind you."

Without so much as a pause of breath, the foremoogle has brought me to a side chamber filled with row upon row of workbenches. So packed into this cramped space are the workers, they have nary an ilm of wing room to themselves. Let's try to get closer to the action, shall we?

What have we here? The basket on this bench appears to hold freshly delivered eggs, and--oh my! Such celerity! Did you see what just happened? This moogle here took a blank egg, adorned it with a letter, and packed it neatly inside a box for later distribution...all within the space of a few heartbeats! At this breakneck pace, we're looking at an output of several thousand lettered eggs per worker per day--a truly astounding figure. Specialization is no doubt the key to efficiency. For those who're curious, our nimble-fingered friend handles the letter 'G' exclusively.

"Kupow-yow-yeowch! Get it off me!"

Hmm? Oh dear, it looks like a moogle has accidentally broken an egg. What's more, the baby lizard that emerged from within has clamped its little jaws onto a...rather tender spot of his. But how in the world did a reptile egg find its way here? With the sheer amount of eggs coming through, I suppose such mix-ups are bound to occur. The moogles work under high levels of stress, and frankly, I'm surprised that this operation hasn't yet transformed into a logistical nightmare.

"Why you little--!" *thwack*

Hmmm, perhaps this is a good time to move on. Speaking of which, where did the foremoogle disappear to? It appears this has turned into a self-guided tour. Let's backtrack our way to--

"Egg-gads! Of all the times for Mistress to come hobbling home!"

Of all the times, indeed. It appears there's no rest for the weary moogle. Let's stick around and observe how this dilemma unfolds.

"Hey, remember that favor you owe me? I want you to attend Mistress in my stead. She always returns from adventuring exhausted and insensate, so she surely won't spot the switcheroo, kupo!"

"Um...all right, kupo."

I say, that's quite a revelation. Should word of this questionable practice spread, I can't imagine how--oh? It appears our substitute moogle is already back.

"Y-your mistress caught me out, kupo! She chased me all about the Mog House--*sob*--screaming bloody murder!"

Why am I not surprised? Adventurers are no moogle's fools, after all. But let's leave these two to their troubles and move on to--

"Boss! We're running dangerously low on 'E' eggs, kupo!"

"And who's to blame for that? You're nowhere near filling the quota, you lousy layabout! Why, I ought to assign you to procurement, kupo!"

Ah, so that's where the foremoogle went. He certainly knows how to wield authority.

"Uwaaah! Anything but procurement, kupo! F-forgive me boss! I swear on my master's grave, it won't happen again!"

Moogle or man, there's nothing like a good tongue-lashing to whip sluggards into shape. Now, let's see if there's anything of interest happening in the next space.

"I don't much longer...I can..." *clonk*

"Healer! Send for the healer, kupopo!"

Good Goddess! Did that poor moogle just collapse, banging his head on the bench corner as he fell?

"Wh-what is it? What's happened?"

"I-I'm not sure, boss. One moment he was applying polish, the next..."


"Utterly unbelievable, kupo! I won't stand for sleepers at my station! Get a bucket of water and rouse the lazy lout!"

Foremoogle or slave-driver? The distinction grows hazier by the minute. There never seems to be a dull moment here at the initial egg factory. It's evidently crunch time, and you could cut the tension with a knife.

"Ahem! Sooo, miss reporter lady. I trust you've gained some interesting insights into our operations, kupo."

"I certainly have. Thank you for sparing the time from your busy schedule."

"There's one thing I want to make crystal clear: this is a labor of love, kupo! All this slaving away, we do for the mirth and merriment of our masters!"

"...And I'm certain your efforts will not go unappreciated. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must return to headquarters and--"

"Not just yet, kupo! We're short on hands, you see, and the deadline's just around the corner..."

"What? Wh-where are you taking me?"

"That's for us to know, and for you to find out! Kupo-ho-ho!"

"Put me down! For the love of the Goddess, put me down! Aiiieeeeee!!!"

Story: Miyabi Hasegawa
Illustration: Mitsuhiro Arita

Event Schedule

The Egg Hunt event is set to begg-in on Tuesday, April 12 at 1:00 a.m. (PDT), and egg-spire on Tuesday, April 26 at the same hour.

Moogle Locations

For the duration of the festivities, event moogles will appear at the locations listed below. Talk to them for a briefing on how to go about getting the absolute most out of your egg-hunting endeavors.

Southern San d'Oria (J-9) / Northern San d'Oria (D-8)
Bastok Mines (I-9) / Bastok Markets (G-8)
Windurst Waters (north side) (F-5) / Windurst Woods (K-10)

How to Play

1. Collect Initial Eggs!
"Initial eggs" are eggs of avian persuasion that have been inscribed with a single letter of the alphabet. During the Egg Hunt, adventurers can receive a random initial egg from the festival moogles once every Vana'dielian day. Collecting and forming certain combinations of initial eggs will garner you event egg-sclusive prizes. Please note, however, that the letter inscribed on a particular egg will not be revealed to you until you receive it. Trading often with your fellow adventurers is the key to completing that elusive combination!

2. Make a "First 3" Combination!
First of all, try collecting the initial eggs required to make a "First 3" combination. Once you have the eggs you need, trade them to a moogle to receive your prize!

First 3: Collect the first three letters of your character's name.
For egg-xample, a character with the name of "Moogle" would need to collect one [M], and two [O] initial eggs.

3. Take it to the Next Level!
Initial Straight 8: An egg inscribed with the first letter of your character's name followed by the next seven letters in the alphabet.
For egg-sample, a character with the name of "Moogle" would need an [M], as well as an [N], [O], [P], [Q], [R], [S], and [T].

7 of a Kind: Seven initial eggs with the same letter.
For egg-sample, you could choose to collect seven [A] initial eggs.

- If you are in a party when speaking with a moogle, it is possible to choose an initial egg inscribed with the first letter of a party member's name. And if that party member happens to be wearing an egg helm...
- Try trading any type of "egg" to a moogle. Once every Vana'dielian day, you might find that the moogles will gift you with an initial egg in exchange for a "normal" egg.
- Newly created characters must wait at least one Vana'dielian day before they can receive an initial egg. Furthermore, you'll have to trade in a "First 3" before you can trade in any other combos. Think of it as a sort of preliminary test!
- The moogles are usually egg-stremely reluctant to give out any of their classified information, but maybe if you are persistent enough, one will let you in on a secret or two! Make it a point to talk to them as often as possible!

For those of you who are looking for a real challenge, try egg-sperimenting with different, more egg-citing combinations.

Unleashing Your "Egg Buffet"

Trade an egg locker, egg table, egg stool, and egg lamp to your resident moogle to have it assembled into an egg buffet. Similarly, trading an egg buffet will cause it to revert to the four aforementioned furnishings.