Hey everybody, it's me, Fab! You know...Fab! Voted most handsome Gob this side of Sauromogue? Seasoned adventurer and playboy extraordinaire? Gimme an "F"! Gimme an "A"! Gimme a "B"! What's that spell? Ring any bells? Anyway, a lot has happened since we last chatted...

First of all, I have some bad news (for me). That babe-and-a-half, Moblina, left me for some darn college smithy named Chadwix... He thinks he's so cool in his black plate armor... I'll show him where he can shove that dirk of his...

Oh, the stork blessed Senor Treant with a swaddling of newborn saplings. He won't tell me who he's been swappin' spores with, though I swear those kids look an awful lot like that voluptuous mahogany from Misareaux.

As for me, I've been spending the past few crystal years trying to get to all those spiffy new areas you adventurers had been talking about... Hey! You know how hard those Promathia missions are! It took me forever to find a party with a good enchanter and mercenary in it!

But all this time away from my fans got me thinking... Life on the road isn't that interesting if there's nobody around to listen to you brag about your adventures! And that's why I'm back in business! So sit down, turn off your linkshells, and put away that plate of squid sushi...okay, you can keep the squid sushi. Just don't let me see you chewing with your mouth open.

As you can see from this exclusive photo, I'm standing in the magnificent city of Al Zahbi. Just look at the craftsmanship used to forge those sun-baked bricks. Mmm-hmm. Now that's one fine shade of grayish-brown!

???: Hey, shorty-boy. Who be yoo going here?

"Huh? I be whatsit whosit?"